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What to talk with your fiance before marriage

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Handling potentially major shocks like kid coming out, failing out of college, being an unexpected prodigy? Experience is the best teacher and there is always a first for everything… but if you want a longer life and not die of poisoning or some freak accident at least know half of the basics before thinking of getting married.

What if he needs to make a midlife career change. On that subject, and financially, what will we eat and how often will it be out versus at home?

Conversations about home security and insurance are also important, as couples have differing opinions about how to protect their property and assets. Set a limit on how much either person can spend without the other knowing until after the purchase. Are you willing to quit any of these if your partner insists on it?

Maybe you're pursuing premarital counseling right now, or maybe it's the last thing on your mind. Either way, you already know there are a few touchy issues engaged couples are "supposed" to talk about before making it official.

Once you know the important conversations to have, you can determine the best approach for having these talks. If it hasn't already come up, now's the time to discuss whether you want children. But here's the surprising thing: You shouldn't stop there. And once you have kids, "How should they be disciplined when they disobey? But it's okay to disagree on: How many kids you think you want right now.

Right now, the number isn't as important, Jacobs explains, "as long as you agree on a timetable—how many years you want to wait before having children. Talk now to skirt arguments later, Bronstein says. Decide whether you'll pool all your money or keep separate accounts , and determine which accounts you'll draw from for everyday expenses and for big investments.

If one of you is a spender and the other is a saver, choose amounts to set aside for the future and for personal spending that you'll both be satisfied with.

Please, for the love of public embarrassment, talk to your partner before asking. I rather adopt than do it with someone else. What if you saw an injured baby deer by the side of the road? What if your father left your mother when she had cancer and your mother was alone? What if you won fifty-thousand dollars? What if we had a four-year-old who poured a glass of milk into your hard drive?

What if you are suddenly hit with depression?

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